TEENAGE SEX

11/16/03

I am going to write about sex, which is not about something an old codger normally writes. But, a report about teenage sex has been preying on my mind. When I look back across a half century, I recall my teenage sex life as a harrowing experience. I walked around in a permanent testosterone haze, but it didn’t much matter since I was also in a nearly permanent state of rejection. The only thing I can say about the experience is that rejection greatly diminished my risk of unwanted parenthood or disease. The recent report bothered me because, nowadays, our young people face greater risk. It doesn’t have to be that way.

The report said more teenagers, even some pre-teens, are engaging in oral sex than ever before. The teens said it was “the thing to do.” Some correctly believed oral sex protected them from pregnancy, but many incorrectly believed it also protected them from sexually transmitted disease. I think it reflects badly on us that our children can be so misinformed and poorly educated.

It is wrong to argue that sex education should be left to the parents or the churches. Our state has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the country. It has high rates of sexually transmitted disease. Obviously, parents aren’t doing the job as well as they should. The preachers and the churches aren't doing such a hot job either. All to often, the advice given to teenagers is, “abstain.” That is not the responsible education our children need.

Now, we all know that abstinence is the only sure way for teenagers to avoid unplanned parenthood, disease, or other problems associated with early sex. But "just say no" doesn’t do it.

"No" didn't do the job a half century ago when I was an adolescent. It didn't work for my children’s generation. And it doesn't seem to be doing the job for my grandchildren and their cohorts. My parents even admitted that it didn't work with their generation. Hormones shouting, "Yes, Yes, Yes" speak louder than parents saying, "No, No, No."

We really have to start giving our children honest and thorough sex education. They need to be given thorough birth control information and, when necessary, access to birth control devices. Some of you will say that I am only encouraging teenage sex, but I am not afraid to say you are wrong.

It is simply false to believe that sexual information or birth control devices lead teenagers to "have at it." That is like saying that firearms training leads kids to rob banks or commit murder. The plain fact is that most teenagers are pretty good kids. They are responsible enough to try to stay out of trouble. But, there are times when hormones or circumstances may take control. Unplanned pregnancy is bad, but worse are today’s deadly STDs.

I think it simply child abuse to send hormone filled youngsters into the night without the information and devices needed to protect themselves. Young people shouldn’t be condemned for sexual transgressions. And, they shouldn’t be sentenced to disability or death for violating your moral principles or religious beliefs.